She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
