also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
bring money and cleavage
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
