the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
