She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize