He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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