I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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