I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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