I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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