i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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