Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
