I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
