Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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