I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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