Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize