I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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