I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Randomize