i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i was born a porn star she said
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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