What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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