My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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