he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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