We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize