You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
