I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
