He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
