u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
