a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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