Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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