so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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