she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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