rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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