you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
