It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
