Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
