I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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