dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
