peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
