He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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