I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
