Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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