i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
