With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize