I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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