Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What a dumb baby whore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
