how can u be prego again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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