you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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