Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
