bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
