Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
