Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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