Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
