i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
