I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
one two three fourrrrnication!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was like eating out sand paper
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
