soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
