i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
