I'm so fucking centered right now
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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