he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He better not be in your backpack
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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