I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize