Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
In other news, I just burned my penis
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
