just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
