dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
