I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
