I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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