Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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