Where are you?
In a non slutty way
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
